justagurl24's thoughts

So I've managed to survive the month. Not sure how it went by so fast. I got an email from my college supervisor about all the stuff we should be doing at this time. And man there is alot of stuff. but let's start with what's on my mind right now.

So yesterday, my co-op decided to not show up for work and left me with a sub. I mean at first I was a bit peeved that he didn't give me a warning or a heads up the day before. But when I met the sub, it got better. I decided to teach the Accounting class yesterday. It went surprisingly well. I got to know these kids more. They understood what I was saying and I felt like I actually had an inkling of what was going on in this accounting class. I've been stressing over on if I could teach this accounting stuff. I mean as long as I stick to the notes, I'll be fine. I like those kids, they're good kids. So yeah, that went well.

Math, I didn't want to teach them cause well, I hate word problems with a passion. They were a bit chatty. Oh well, it's Friday and they have a sub.

CCA9, same old same. I'm starting to study up on these kids' names. Flash-card style.. lol.. not really.

My lovely math class went okay. I mean it was hot and I was trying to figure out the projector while these kids are bugging me. lol.. I decided to use prezi to present notes to them and have a discussion about a related math problem (the parking meter as per Dan Meyer). Well, remember student 1 who likes pushing my buttons, well he pushed one to far. I told him to move back to his seat 4 times so I could start class. He wouldn't move, kept negotiating with me.. Than I had it, I said, "You know what, you can leave." Than he said "it's okay, I'll go back.".. Too late, button pushed, "Too bad, you lost your chance, you can come back on Monday, see ya".. That was that. I actually kicked a kid out of class. Than I continued with class, which went okay. They did some discussion which I was surprised they were all pretty engaged with. They were actually talking about math. It was weird, I thought they would go off track or something. The problem as usual with me is that when I teach outside of my realm of comfort, I get jumbled with my words. And I think the kids could see it too. I had a list of questions written down that I wanted them to discuss. I put them in groups of 3, so they could have one person write down the answers. It didn't work out that perfect. Some groups talked and some didn't know who their group was. Some didn't even move together as a group to discuss. All of them did not write anything down. So I think I need to work on planning out my lessons better, maybe practicing before hitting the stage. Typing out my lessons/questions also help, because when I read my own writing I tend to get lost reading my own writing. I should have waited until everyone knew who their group was before asking the questions. Making sure everyone is on the same page. Not sure how discussion will play a major part with me, since it's so out of my realm of teaching styles. But it's something I would like to try. I mean everyday is a new day.

Back to student 1, and how I dealt with the situation. So here's what my problem was, over the past year, I've been learning to never give up on a student no matter what. But than this kid comes into my class testing my buttons because I'm an intern, and my co-op suggests using him as your person to make an example of to gain the respect of the class. My co-op says kick em out if he's not willing to be a part of the class. And that's what I did. Was I right to do so? Did I give up on him? I mean I've had a talk with him and my co-op also had a talk with him. Did he lose his chance? Why is he giving me a hard time? Would have it been different if my co-op started the class from Day 1? I mean I know he's a good kid, he's not a trouble maker, he just needs a sweet kick in the arse to smarten up. Okay.. that's the issue that has been troubling me today.

But to just go back a bit. I've also had something positive on my mind. Yesterday, I had a revelation that I'm a teacher. Yesterday I was with another intern 1 and I saw two students from the Accounting class wandering the halls, and they addressed me "Hello Miss Mah".. that was just weird.. That was my revelation, me seeing those kids in the hallway outside of my class and saying hello to me. I think it was weird because I was with another intern/teacher and those kids addressed me and not anyone else. I felt special / liked.. ;)..

Later another incident also while another intern 2 was with me. Remember student 1, well after class I went to visit intern 2's class to chat. While she was packing up, I was standing in the hallway and student 1 was with his friends. He asked me "hey Miss Mah, did you mark me absent?" I said "Yes". He said "I just don't want to sit in that seat, it smells over there" I said "You know what, your not going to choose where you sit sometimes and you just have to suck it up. You don't get to have the luxury to pick a perfect seat. If you don't like it, than don't come to class and I'll mark you absent. So either you smarten up or don't come to class, your choice." I did this infront of his friends and intern 2. I wasn't mean, I just told him the honest truth. That was that, he didn't say anything. Intern 2 said I handled that really well. I was flattered in a weird way.

Edit: I also called a parent yesterday for the first time. I did really well! lol I hate talking on the phone. But I got the courage to do it. And might I say, I did good. I'm not going to mention the reason why I called. But it was a good conversation. I was confident and straight to the point.

So those incidents yesterday really made me realize that I'm definitely growing professionally and personally. I'm building those relationships (good or bad) with students that I thought I couldn't do at the beginning of the year. I'm dealing with situations that I've never realized I am strong enough to handle. Internship is really the make or break that determines whether you're cut out to become a teacher. I'm still learning, hopefully one day I'll master this "gig".

Mood: perked up

Edit: I have a sore throat.. darn teenagers and their germs.. grr..

Posted by rom559 at 10:54 PM | Permalink

So I had a mishap today in class. I lost control of my class. I am really struggling with this whole classroom management thing. I am not as mean as I should be. I had the class start with a quiz. That was good. They worked quietly. Than I let them correct it. Than I handed them their notes instead of them copying notes from the board. I should have had a look through my notes before I started the lesson. Bad move on my part. I was so disoriented. I didn't know what I was explaining. So my co-op jumped in and helped me out. Was I embarrassed? Kind of, more so this time than the last time. Because He had to actually explain it instead of just re-iterating what I was saying. Plus he told me that I had my attention only towards half of the class. The rest of the class were totally lost. Holy man, I feel crappy right now.

I mean yesterday was a better day than today. I wish yesterday was today.. grr.. Maybe because the content yesterday was more clearer and direct. I also felt like I was building a rapport with most of the students. Some are still very quiet, although I feel like those who are quiet still think I'm not a real teacher, so they still go ask help from my co-op rather than me, oh well.

Volleyball was also interesting. We had some "experts" come and help us out today. Our "expert" was useful, she actually let us help instead of just taking over. Some girls needed this b/c they need an attitude change.

I also got to talk to one of the other interns about how she's doing in internship. I had a good talk with her. Not really sure how this is relevant, but something for me to remind me of what I did today I guess.

I also made a to-do list of stuff I need to do. There's alot. And I started to plan "my unit plan" for CCA9.. super excited about this class. I also used Prezi in class yesterday for Accounting.. Man, did those kids ever like that. I used it again today. They're so impressed by it. I would show them how to use it if it wasn't the fact that they're in Accounting class and not a computer applications class.

I think I'll use Prezi tomorrow and see how that turns out. I'm going to try to use Dan Meyer's grocery problem in class. If I run out of time, I'll throw in the parking meter problem too.

So all in all, it was an okay day. The big 22 today.. So yeah.. another year another regular day. I'm just looking forward to my sleep tonight. That's really what I want for my b-day, to catch up on my Z's...

Mood: drained, stupid, and tired

Posted by rom559 at 09:04 PM | Permalink

So week 4 begins. There is a lot of stuff I need to do. Like my co-op said I would get busy later. Very true. First volleyball game yesterday, it went okay. It's all about participation so as long as they support each other than I'm happy. Some of the girls have an attitude problem, so the other coach and I need to figure something out.

Anyways, the week started okay. I gave my class a new seating plan. They of course whined and complained. Oh well, i strategically placed them in specific spots. I also "subbed" for my co-op in his other grade 10 math for like 20 minutes. I mention this because I got to experience being in front of different kids but who are the same grade and subject. It was interesting, not to have favorites but I enjoyed this class(Math10c) more than my own (Math10d). Maybe it's because Math10c seems more attentive. Also, to factor in that my co-op started this class.

Does the previous paragraph make any sense??

Continuing on, so remember student1, the student who likes to chat and push my buttons, well he hasn't changed his work ethic (he's still just sitting there). Now I have another student who just sits in class while I do my lesson. But he actually answers questions in class, but he doesn't take any notes. My co-op says that it's there choice to not take notes, because I'm starting to do random note checks. So if they want the mark, they do their notes. Something about this system is flawed somehow. Hey let's threaten the kids, if you don't do this than I'm taking this away from you. Isn't there another way to get students to take notes? Or maybe that's a signal to me, they're bored in class for a reason, cause they're not engaged in the material. Or the other factor that they just get the stuff and think they don't need to take notes. It's gonna come back and hit them in the head later.

So tomorrow I teach Accounting. Holy crap! I know absolutely nothing about this subject. I'm going to try to use Prezi instead of Powerpoint. I was reading up on some articles about Prezi, criticizing Prezi and how it's just a fancy Powerpoint. And that some presenters have used Powerpoint for every single presentation without the use of fancy transitions. Okay, I see that point. But might as well try it.

Today, I went to a PD meeting for the new grade 9 math curriculum. I totally disagreed with mostly everything they said. I don't know, it's just reading and following Dan Meyer and these other teachers, who are trying to teach away from the textbook, inspire me to become a non-traditional math teacher. The fact that these curriculum supervisors believe that their text is beneficial to students need to put themselves in the position of a student. Do most kids like to read? Most likely no. Including me. Let's present these students with images of actual practical math applications instead of giving practice questions from 1-10. Apparently the difference from this curriculum and the old one is that it includes "reflections", "connections", and "challenges". Oh yes, as a student I am so excited to reflect about Math.. NOT!.. Get it together people.. Let's try something different. Use everyday examples for students to connect these mathematical concepts. Yes, I do see that students need to learn these "skills" to build on for future math courses. Again, another system that is flawed. University expects grade 12 students to be able to take Calculus without any trouble, these skills that were build upon grade 11 math skills, and so on.. I can't do much about this.. I kind of sidetracked here..

Continuing on again.. A great example of who is able to not teach from the textbook is Dan Meyer. I've read many blogs where many teachers have praised Mr. Meyer for his ability to incorporate different methods of looking at simple things with a mathematical point of view. He asks simple questions. He's a wizard with video editing and photo editing. I just wonder what his classroom is like... Student engagement is what he does best.

I'm done with my rant today. Peace.

Posted by rom559 at 10:07 PM | Permalink

So I recently read an entry entitled "My Digital Footprint" by Kyle Webb. He writes about entering his name in Google and seeing what links comes up. I wanted to try out this experiment.. Although I mostly refer under the alias 'justagurl24' in which you might guess.

Also listed are some other blogs I have.. that as the title says.. 'contains uselessness'

Google search (links that I recognize): justagurl24

1. This blog.
2. My Youtube channel
3. Profile page from Stephen Lynch forums in which I have not visited for a long time
4. Piratebay account with nothing important on it
5. LOL!!! My Xanga page from way back when..
6. Slideshare account
7. Listed on http://samjshah.com/ Blog Roll..

Other Links:

1. My old livejournal account where I talk about TV mostly.. cause yeah..
2. My Musical blogspot that doesn't have anything relevant on it.
3. My Neopets page.. LOL..
4. My Wordpress account that I was going to move to.. but changed my mind. There is nothing on it.
5. My Movie List - Movies I have watched in my life
6. My Tumblr - Tumblr Page

Posted by rom559 at 11:34 PM | Permalink

So I have recently succumbed to the online community of teachers in this world. Amazing people with so many ideas and experiences they had when they started that I am going through now. Here are some that I follow, there is alot:

* Ones I like
** Ones I follow religiously

Math/Reflective Practioners Blogs:

Math Be Brave - Jesse *

Be Aware Math is Everywhere - Steven

Kiss My Asymptotes - Justin *

Mathalogical - Sarah

Divide By Zero - Nick * (has lots of resources)

Axioms to Teach By - Alison *

Pissed Off *

Miss Calcul8 - Elissa ** (I totally can relate to her)

I Want to Teach Forever *

A Math Teacher Living in the 21st Century *

Weapons of Math Instruction

Continuities - Jackie

whoknows.ca - Dan * (math and compsci teacher in SK)

A Difference - Darren

Pedagogical Predicaments

yofx

f(t) - Kate ** (I like very much :))

dy/dan - Dan ** (everyone follows him)

Continuous Everywhere but Differentiable Nowhere - Sam * (cheerleader for new teachers)

Tanya Khovanova’s Math Blog - Tanya

Questions - David **

Math Tales from the Spring

Let's Play Math *

EdTechnology Blogs

The Innovative Educator **

Ideas and Thoughts from an EdTech - Dean *

Free Technology for Teachers - Richard ** (tons of resources)

iLearn Technology - * tons of resources

Weblogg-ed - Will *

Other Teach Blogs

Blogush - Paul ** (social studies teacher)

The PrincipalsPage.com Blog - Michael *

Sup Teach? - a whole wad of teachers *

TeachPaperless - Shelly

Honourable Mentions - My favorite posts:

I Am Ready To Step Up (spontaneous classroom eruption)

I am a good teacher because...

Classroom Management: Managing with Class

Reflection

Posted by rom559 at 09:32 PM | Permalink

So I did it. I gave them the lowdown of my class expectations. They were wondering why I was telling them this. I told them because I was annoyed the day before. With 7 people coming in late and 5 people going to their locker to get their textbook. That was that, I needed to step in and say how I felt. Surprisingly, they respected me for what I said. The crappy thing is, the student I wanted to direct my speech to was not here. So hopefully I have the courage to tell him myself and get him back on track.

They have their exam today, so I doubt there will be too much trouble. The test to myself will be Thursday. If they don't take responsibility in their role in my class than they can leave and come back tomorrow. I feel like I am a totally different person compared to when I started this. I think I've gotten better with saying "no" and classroom management.

Posted by rom559 at 01:28 PM | Permalink

So I have come to another phase of this thing. I really don't want to discipline for the rest of my life. It's getting so annoying. It is exactly what my first year english prof said.. "I wanted to become a teacher but than I realized I wanted to teach English and not discipline".. hmm.. well isn't that a pickle. I know I am only an intern, but I feel like some of these kids are not taking me seriously enough that they can play that 'get away' easy card..

Yesterday, apparently my classroom management needs improvement. And I thought I was doing so well. :(.. I am going to have a talk with them today, so hopefully this works. I just wish the College prepared us more, gave us more practical situations of how to deal with things within a school. I've wasted a year on the philosophy of education, education psychology, and education technology. These classes were not beneficial to me at all.

I really need to buckle down on some stuff too. As of right now, I am planning my lessons like a day before. I should be planning them ahead of time so I don't have to bring textbooks home with me every night. I finally know how to use the photocopier properly.. yay!.. lol

Covering Polynomials next.. not sure again on how I could approach this differently than notes, lecture, assign. This order is so dull and boring. Of which I told the students I would try not to be. But sadly I am.

Discipline is really my problem.. I'm not as verbal as some teachers.. so yeah.. I'm also faced with the dilemma of having kids not doing so great in my class.

Again, I don't like doing things by myself.. I'm not a leader.. grade 10's annoy me.. arrgh..

Posted by rom559 at 01:19 PM | Permalink

Well I've survived Week 2. It feels very different from last week, which is a good thing. I don't feel like quitting. I feel more comfortable with my ability. I ask myself the question, "Is this the rest of my life?", and I'm still on the fence about that. I'm not hating it but I'm not lovin it. But like everyone says, it is getting better. I am so exhausted..

Friday's class was good. Some of them wanted to go to the volleyball game during my class, and I knew they would hound me about it. But I had already missed the previous class due to a meeting, so I was behind. I told them no that we were going to the game. I gave them a quiz, and they stopped bugging me. Than I continued with my lesson, and that was that. I figured none of them would be at the game after school anyways, so yeah. Kids..

I still feel like I'm not getting my lessons clearly across. I mean I am worried for some of my students. I give them these quizzes and some of them are not doing so hot. I know these quizzes are worth very little, but still it reflects on my teaching. It could also be that they're not doing their homework. But I feel like I'm failing on my teaching. I asked one student, who did poor on the last two quizzes, if he was getting this stuff and he said not really. I was like okay, do you want to know why? or would you like to get some help? He said nah not really. I was kind of sad because, it seemed like he lost confidence in himself to learn this stuff. Confidence, definitely plays a major role in this subject. It sucks.

Also on Friday, I sat in on the auditions for the musical. It was so interesting. I'm rally excited to be involved with this. Knowing me, an adamant fan of Broadway musicals, I knew I would enjoy this more than volleyball. It's obvious, interests interest me. Why am I in volleyball again?? I know nothing about it. I feel so useless there. The girls look at me like I don't belong there.

On Thursday, some of the interns had a meeting with our supervisor and co-op teachers. This was a good day. It went by so quickly too! I really got to know my co-op a lot. It was interesting to hear him because he told me how he just "gets kids". I asked him a certain question that made him think, "Do you think you favorite students?".. His response made me think if I will ever favorite students... As of right now, nope.. no favorite students.. they're all different and I don't know them. I recently received some advice, if I don't like something about a student than I should find something to like about that student. I'm trying..

Mood: tired

Posted by rom559 at 11:29 PM | Permalink

So on Wednesday, I taught my Math class the concept of solving equations with fractions. Complete failure. I could not get my point across clearly. They all just looked at me with blank faces, "huh?". I felt really stupid. So my co-op jumped in and explained pretty much what I had written on the board already. So technically, all he did was show what I did. Than 3 minutes later, I did another example where they got confused again. So I asked him if he could help me. And so he did. I felt like an idiot after that. Do my students believe I can teach? Do I look weak infront of my students? Like the saying goes "asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength". True, but I still did not feel like I could have done my best.

I feel like I am psyching myself up too much. If I fail one day, I will definitely fail the next day. The thing is I didn't let this get to me as bad as the first day. I'm slowly starting to shrug things off and move on. So that's good. I still feel like my class still thinks I'm a joke. That I am not a good teacher. I don't have set ways to do things. I'm all over the place. This is how I feel, but really it's not as bad as I think it is. I still feel I am a push-over, for which I am still working on improving.

Hopefully today will be a good day.

Posted by rom559 at 01:33 PM | Permalink

So I survived until Week 2!.. Will I be able to go to the end? I don't know right now.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. It went really fast actually. Again, I'm not checking homework and it was a long weekend, but I think the quiz I gave them was a bit more difficult than they were used to. Me being a softy, is feeling sorry for them. I mean kids who got 5/5 on their first quiz got a 1/5, and I know how that feels when you know you're a top-notch student and you get defeated by a little quiz. It's not the end of the world, they know if they do their homework than they will do good on the quiz. The chapter exam, I wouldn't be as hard. So that's where they can prove to me they're getting the concepts.

I wonder what they think of me. Am I an easy-teacher? or a hard-ass? I'm definitely easy-going, I don't really have set standards in my class of which I should. I mean, I don't scrutinize students who do their work in pen or don't show all their work. It's just going to bite them back in the butt when they mess up a question. I'm not here to hold their hand, and it sucks because some of them do need that. They're old enough to take responsibility in their learning, it's up to them to step up.

My co-op tells me I'm very comfortable up there. So he said to make some goals on what to tweak to make things in the class perfect. Here are some:

- push the kids who are not doing anything to do something at least.
- check on kids who are not doing so well, make sure they understand it
- try not to make the atmosphere "too relaxed"

So these are what I should work on. So all in all, yesterday was a good day. I think the good days are the days when I lecture most of the period. No discipline problems.. so that's good to note.

Frosh Girls Volleyball tryouts started yesterday, which was interesting. I have no experience in coaching and very little in volleyball. I mean as interns, we are not suppose to coach so I'm wondering what they need us for than. Until than I guess.

I feel like I have so much stuff to do everyday. I think it is time for schedule time. Knowing me.. I probably will not follow it.

Posted by rom559 at 01:23 PM | Permalink

I've come to realize that this is all a chore to me. I don't want to drive in the morning to school. I hate it. I can't quit. I wish there was a way to make it better. Sure I can work with other people to come up with solutions, but you know what it's all up to me to enforce those solutions. And it usually ends in failure for me and my students. I just want to teach the way I want to teach. Develop my style and be able to share that with my students. I feel like it's too late to change it. I've set my course outline for my students. The assignments are given. The topics chosen. When I divulge away from that and go against what I said in the beginning of the year, my students will see that "hey this teacher isn't standing by what she said". It's true. They'll see that I don't know what I'm doing at all. You know what, it's true. I'm just an intern, still learning one day at a time.

That's what sucks about this, I hate being alone. No one can be there to defend me. I'm the one who needs to stand up and do it. Can I go in and say "I'm still learning, guys and girls.. I'm new at this.. give me a chance to experiment with you"... maybe I can say that.. but I dunno.. right now I have so many things floating in my mind. All I can think about is school and this whole experience. Nothing else.. I need something in my life to make me happy and right now I've got nothing. Nothing to keep me distracted.. Nothing to keep my mind from thinking about this "chore".

So just to recap Friday's class, I did a huge no-no.. Half the class wanted to go outside to do their work and the other half didn't say anything. I was a push-over, and let half of them go outside (the half that wouldn't do their work anyways) and the other half in the class. I asked my co-op teacher to watch the half inside and I would watch the half outside. When I came home and realized what a mistake I made I felt stupid and embarrassed again. If I had my own class, I would not have someone else watch my class. Either the whole class came outside or no one went outside. I should have made a distinctive decision and realize that not everyone wanted to go outside. That sucked.. Major fail... I didn't even discuss this with my co-op because I would have felt embarrassed. Why am I such a push-over? I'm really not going to be good at this job, me thinks..

This weekend I was suppose to have alot of stuff done, but managed to think way more about how much I hate this experience. The thing is I can go talk to my supervisor about how I'm feeling, but it wouldn't change anything. Again, she would just offer me suggestions. I get alot of different advice, than I think about it and get scrambled up with my own doubts.

I want to step out of the box, and teach what I'm interested in.

I hated high school. Why am I back? It's like a huge popularity contest all over again. What made me want to come back to this hell? When I graduated, I thought that I could change the system. Be able to pick those students that were like me and make them like high school.. I can't just wave my magic wand and make that happen, why would I think that I'm capable of that?

What did I hate about high school? That I was invisible. I came and I left. No one noticed. May be I'm feeling sorry for my past self, but that's the way I saw it. To this day, I still think my old classmates could care less about me. And you know what, I don't care about them. I survived high school and managed to land myself straight back.

I go to school tomorrow, and I don't know what to expect. Is that a good thing or bad thing? I'm not sure. Everyone else is having a good time and I'm sulking in the corner.. I'm just not lovin it.. and of course I've heard it many times.. "it will get better..".. really? I don't see it happening anytime soon. I'm just so critical of myself.. I'm scared of people judging me and labeling me a "bad teacher" or "failure". I feel like I'm disciplining more than actually teaching my students, helping them learn and understand better. The "head honchos" tell us to teach what our co-op teacher is teaching, being a leader and focus on building those relationships with students. I don't feel like that's what I'm doing at all. I'm just gonna say it.. "I'm not a leader, I'm not a follower, I'm here to guide." I want to help students learn, see their eyes light up when they "get it". I'm seriously reconsidering becoming a teacher. I think I want to work in resource or EA support.

Week 2 begins.. I need to get organized quick. on a side note.. I need a haircut again. I'm outs.

Mood: lost in thoughts

Posted by rom559 at 09:14 PM | Permalink

So the week has slowly begun to get better. Yesterday was the first day when I realized I might be able to finish this thing. Today, I sat in on a Computer Science/Robotics class. Actually, it was alot of fun. I got to see these students run something that was created from scratch based on a computer code. It was really neat to see the actual practical application being put to use. I talked with the teacher alot about how and what exactly he teaches in his Comp Sci courses.

The students were given metal pieces, gears, motors, remote controllers, antennas, computer codes, wheels... so on. The students were able to directly send the code to their robot and begin to test it out. It was really amazing. In my experience with computer science, I have never seen the actual connection between the code and application. It was basic coded programs that I had to program. I guess this field is really directed more to mechanical engineering, so maybe that is why I never experienced this. It's just cool that all the students knew what they were doing and what had to get done to get the "bot" to work.

These students were definitely engaged. I wish all my classes were like this. I mean the students are mainly boys and who are interested in robotics. So I guess there is a level of interest that kept the engagement level attentive.

Edit: These kids are my kind of people.. They're my 'peeps'..Same type of people found in the Computer Science department at the University. I think I have a minor idea of what they will pursue later in their education career. ;)..

Posted by rom559 at 01:45 PM | Permalink

Okay stupid blog.. totally erased everything that I just wrote.

So it is the fourth day. Still hating it. Why? I don't know. I just don't look forward to coming to school in the morning.

The second day was not as bad as the first day. I started to teach content where my "comfort zone" was. I got the class's attention quickly. I gave them notes and the assign. Where they finished 15 minutes early, but still my presentation had definitely improved from the first day.

The third day was a bit better again. I didn't feel like it was the greatest day. I wanted to do a switch of seats between two students. Student 1 talked alot during my class, so I wanted to move him. Student 2 did not want to move (I was not penalizing Student 2, so I felt bad that it wasn't his fault that he was being moved). So being a softy, I let Student 1 off the hook. I told him if he talked he's moving. So of course, he talked. So I was definitely moving him the next day. With my teaching, I felt a bit more comfortable. I'm still getting used to silence. I hate when there is an awkward silence, with a passion. I'm slowly getting used to it.

Today, went actually well. I moved Student 1 with someone who was very quiet Student 3. Student 1 definitely had some resentment. But my class went way much better. I didn't have to tell Student 1 to stop talking to the people around him. So I felt better.

I am still feeling this is not the place I want to be for the rest of my life. I'm not enjoying it as much as I should. I mean it is still the first week, and I should give it time. But I can't help the way I feel. I am taking on the role of helping to coach the Frosh Girls Volleyball. I have absolutely no experience in Volleyball Coaching or Coaching at all. But might as well try. I mean I won't be alone, so that is a plus.

I actually sat down and looked through the PGG today. I feel so overwhelmed. I have to do this and do that by a certain time. There is so much little things I should be doing. I'm already an emotional and critical person, so taking on more stress issues will definitely make me more stressed.

I mean after today's class, I feel that there is no need to withdraw. But this morning I was definitely contemplating on the idea. Right now, I want to get this week finished. I just want to move on to content that I can get creative with. It's all basic algebra review. So I feel that my students are not getting/experiencing my "teaching style" yet. Eventually I'll get to it. Until than.

Posted by rom559 at 01:07 PM | Permalink