So on Wednesday, I taught my Math class the concept of solving equations with fractions. Complete failure. I could not get my point across clearly. They all just looked at me with blank faces, "huh?". I felt really stupid. So my co-op jumped in and explained pretty much what I had written on the board already. So technically, all he did was show what I did. Than 3 minutes later, I did another example where they got confused again. So I asked him if he could help me. And so he did. I felt like an idiot after that. Do my students believe I can teach? Do I look weak infront of my students? Like the saying goes "asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength". True, but I still did not feel like I could have done my best.
I feel like I am psyching myself up too much. If I fail one day, I will definitely fail the next day. The thing is I didn't let this get to me as bad as the first day. I'm slowly starting to shrug things off and move on. So that's good. I still feel like my class still thinks I'm a joke. That I am not a good teacher. I don't have set ways to do things. I'm all over the place. This is how I feel, but really it's not as bad as I think it is. I still feel I am a push-over, for which I am still working on improving.
Hopefully today will be a good day.