justagurl24's thoughts

So the two weeks of holidays are almost done. 2010 is here. Today it really hit me that I'm going back to school on Monday. I haven't taken a university class since summer. This feels weird. I feel like I should be going back to the high school to see my students. I actually really miss them. I've been thinking alot about my first few days of internship and how much I have grown since then. I remember I actually snapped at a kid.. literally snapped with my fingers at him. I'm not even sure if I'm ready to go back to school. I'm starting to fix up my resume and make it look more professional. I have 8 days until the post-internship meeting happens and my plan was to have all my stuff done in preparation for that. I still have not gone to get the application for E.A. positions.. I have to prep myself for interviews as well by the end of the month. I need to get my teacher certificate application filled out and sent soon. I also need to figure out my application packages for each school division. I feel like there is alot of work to do, and not sure where to start. Thank god I only have three classes this semester.

Well the new decade has arrived. I recently was asked what were some of the things that stood out for me this last year.. I thought I would address some of them in this entry.

Well this whole education experience has really opened my eyes towards the world of teaching and my connection to young people. It's been quite a ride to get here. I struggled with my confidence for a majority of the time. I wasn't confident that I would be accepted into the College but I got in (in my opinion, it was a pity acceptance). I wasn't confident in myself to teach a lesson, but I overcame that. I wasn't confident in starting my internship, but I made it. You see, confidence is quite an obstacle for me to overcome. I still struggle at times only with audiences that intimidate me, I guess. It's also sometimes hard for me to have confidence in myself. I always have doubts and "I can't do it" attitudes. Don't get me wrong though, I've gotten better at it.

Goals accomplished this year??

Completing my internship was a huge one for me. It really helped shape me as a person and a teacher. I've learned that I "get kids".. lol.. I know what's it like to hear someone lecture for hours and hours. I try to not make hell for them. High school is about helping a kid find out who they are. It's not about building math skills, biology skills, english skills, physed skills, or any skills. The fact of the matter is that kids are there to build relationships with themselves, peers, and teachers. That's why I believe in trying not to fill the whole hour with 100% math. Throw in random current events, random stories, random pictures, random videos.. anything random.. I hate that some kids are forced to sit through hours of lectures day after day. Kids are humans, they're not robots.. they have emotions and stresses. I wish I had a teacher that thought of their students. It's not like teachers don't care about their students.. it's just teachers don't know how students feel sometimes. It's not like I'm giving in to their requests or anything.. it's just I know what its like.. and I wouldn't want to inflict "more pain" to them..

Goals for next year??

Let's see.. number one would be is to get a job. I'm kind of nervous on where I'll get a job. I actually don't mind teaching city kids.. I really would like to get a job at where I interned.. but only in my dreams, me thinks... It won't be the end of the world to be placed somewhere else. I think the real test for myself is getting my first job. This internship was just a taste.

Keep reading the edublogs available on the web. Take and share these ideas with others. It's been quite a reward to discover the amount of experiences, professional development, lesson plans, and innovative teaching methods that are available. I hope to get more of my fellow teacher candidates to explore this method of sharing of ideas. I'm still not sure how I found these blogs.. but I hope to find more..

Another goal for myself is to get out more. Be more independent. Take risks. Make leaps. See success at the end of those risks. If I don't think positive then I won't ever take that jump.

Try not to procrastinate. I get myself into alot of trouble and stress because I procrastinate. I've done it ever since high school. Let's see if I'll change this year.

Try not to be a jerk to my sister. I will admit it, I have been a pain in the ass towards my sister this past year. Not sure why though. She's moving to another city after she graduates, so I need to smarten up these last four months and make the times I spend with her all the worthwhile. She's put up with alot of shit with me and sometimes I feel like she's the oldest.. I said sometimes.. She's had her moments where she's put me in my place. It's gonna be weird to have no one to protect and look out for. I guess we're both growing up.. This is really the first time I've come to a realization that she's leaving. She's the only person in this world that knows me really well. We get each other's inside jokes.. memories.. and experiences.. How corny it may sound, she is my best friend.. I'm really going to miss her.

2010 is going to be hard year to predict. I won't know if I'll have a job.. I don't know where I'll be a year from now. I hope a get a car though.. lol.. It's crazy it's been 10 years already.. I've grown up in this decade. 2000 I was in grade 7. Listening to Britney Spears, and Backstreet Boys... wearing some ugly overalls and these really annoying butterfly clips (that I wore until grade 11).. Ten years later.. I'm finishing university with sadly.. just one degree.. I hope to finish my Bach. Sc. later after a few years of teaching.. This next decade.. who knows what there will be.. i mean the last one.. we've discovered ipods, cell-phones, and twitter.. only time will tell I guess..

Well.. school is starting.. so to end off.. Huzzah.. Good luck to me in the coming year..

Mood: dreading school..