I have about 10 pages of Microsoft Word detailing almost every single thing that happened to me during this experience.. but I won't force you to read my boring notes of the trip..

This experience began with a post from @samjshah in regards to the first tweet about Twitter Math Camp 2012.. At first, I was excited.. because people who I have been following were finally going to be all together in one room. I wanted to go. I needed to go.

I'm not one for taking risks often. So I was really on the fence as to whether I would have the guts to actually do it. So when I noticed that the registration due date was July 1, I figured if I registered and decided not to go, it wouldn't be much of a loss if I just put my name down. So I registered and got the emails from Lisa Henry reminding me that I needed to book a plane ticket to St Louis sometime soon. It had been one official week of the summer when I realized I'm not going to be doing much this summer anyways.. So I might as well soak up as much as my first summer off.. So it was set.. I had a ticket.. and I had no choice but to go now..

The night before my flight.. I couldn't get any sleep until 2am.. and the crappy part.. I had to be up by 4:30am for departure.. so I got minimal sleep.

I was so nervous.. I've never been to the US before.. hell I've never even left the country before. Customs scared the crap out of me because of the stories of heard from my friends. I made it through. But the thing that really gave me the nerves.. was meeting the people. Will I make any friends? Will I feel incompetent? Would I be anti-social? Would my wall come up? Will the Roxanne in me screw up this experience? I really had no idea what to expect.

To answer those questions.. yes.. sometimes.. but I did eventually let loose a little after the first day.. and the Roxanne in me didn't screw up.. I think alot of things went my way alot fortunately..

The atmosphere of TMC was unlike any PD I've ever attended. There was a sense of camaraderie, like we all had a common goal. It was like we all knew each other's needs and wants. Everyone benefited each other's company. We learned and shared new things.. new approaches.. different lives we each lived (personally and professionally).. I felt like I belonged.. not to sound corny, but it was like every single person I met and talked to actually listened to me.. wanted to help me.. and vice versa.. I was fascinated by the range of backgrounds that these people came from. Maybe it was because I'm not a US citizen.. and the US education system is quite different from the Canadian one.. scratch that.. Saskatchewan education.. But to go back to the people.. it was strange.. I'm not used to people asking me "where are you from? What do you teach?".. Back home, in PD sessions, I almost never say a word to other teachers.. I regret not being able to talk to everyone at TMC though.

So the people at TMC was one thing that made it quite amazing.

Next was the format of the event. I have to commend Lisa (@lmhenry9) and Shelli (@druinok) for organizing such a flawless camp. First day of registration, we got goodie bags!! I was not expecting that.. plus a name tag with a lanyard.. For a free event, you really don't expect anything.. so this was pretty awesome..

Anyways.. each day began with working on Exeter Problems on three different levels. After was a "My Favourites" session, then a "guest speaker" session, and finally two one hour choose your own sessions. I really enjoyed working on the exeter problems the first day because it eased into the "math conversations" without being forced to discuss "math education issues" with complete strangers.. I greatly appreciated this because I'm not much of a vocal person.. But the thing that I loved about the structure of this camp was that the individual sessions were runned by us and not some famous/knowledgeable author/presenter from who knows where.. like the tagline of TMC says "made for teachers, by teachers".. And the great thing.. every session I went to, I took something away from it and that like never happens in PD stuff..

I can't wait for next year because there will be more attendees interested in going with the success of #tmc12..

Highlights:
- Converting Farenheit to Celsius.. "double it and add 30"..
- The free amenities at my hotel..
- Iced Tea in the States is NOT the same in Canada.. (Note to self: do not order again)
- service in the States is really good.. like better than Canada..
- Meeting Kate Nowak for the first time.. "in Awe Moment"
- Seeing MICDS, Hogwarts! Beautiful campus.
- Troy Stein's presentation - took alot of neat ideas from this.. also he's a super nice person to talk to!
- seeing the rustic side of St Louis.. you can just feel the jazz and the blues.. What a neat city..
- Impressed by the script the Brewery tour guides had to remember..
- Trying my first "deep dish" pizza at Pi Pizzeria with Jami.. Delicious..
- Elissa's driving.. Lol.. :) "Stay on Warson Road.."
- Eating at the Cheesecake Factory.. sadly didn't have enough room for cheesecake.. :(
- the group picture..
- talking with Elissa about the Canadian healthcare system compared to the states..
- Eating at Chick-fil-a for the first time.. interesting..
- City Musuem.. watching a 6 foot Karim turn himself around in a coiled tunnel.. the slides.. going on the ferris wheel.. just relaxing on the roof of the building feeling the breeze.. "Not a fun moment": climbing eleven floors to the roof..
- Pam's presentation on assessment.. I took alot of great ideas from this..
- the ultimate ending to TMC - Tweet Me Maybe, lyrics were perfect..
- Sam and Sean realizing who I was.. just a gurl.. :)
- hugging.. lots of it..
- saying goodbye to people and then seeing them again 10 mins again.. and saying goodbye again.. and seeing them again an hour later.. and finally saying goodbye to them.. :(..
- the entourage we had when each person (4pm crowd) left for their flight..
- and finally the number of new twitter friends I had acquired by the end of this trip..

Good job to a past Roxanne for taking a risk for once.. :) Best experience ever.. Thanks Mathblogosphere for being so awesome with open arms..

DISCLAIMER: Commenting really sucks on this blog host.. so if you're writing a comment.. REMEMBER to CTRL-A and CTRL-C.. so you can paste your comment, just in case it doesn't get posted..

Or you know.. you don't have to say anything.. :)

A few teachers were talking about getting up in the morning and coming to work. Alot of them said they were tired to get to work and how none of them were excited to come to work. They had nothing to look forward to when they came to work. That kind of makes me sad to think that some people do the same thing everyday without even having a slight sense of enjoyment to look forward to in the day.

And I piped in to say, "Does anyone really hate their work?" Most of them said yeah. This was kind of a shocker to me. I mean I've never truly hated what I've worked at. Even my jobs I had in university, I still enjoyed going to work. May be I'm a special one or something. So I added to the conversation, "I mean I don't like getting up in the morning and I would rather sleep. But the thing that gets me excited to come to work are the kids. They are what I look forward to when I come to school." And they all kind of laughed at me, thinking.. oh you're new, that's what most newbies say. I mean shouldn't that be for all teachers? But still, what's the point of doing what you do if you don't have anything to keep yourself excited year after year besides a paycheque.

That's my rant. My apologies for not updating often enough. I'll try to post more if I have the time. :)

It hasn't been all ups.. there are some downs.. I don't think I'm exploring enough instructional strategies. This may be due to the fact that I'm only a day ahead of the kids. I'm not giving it my all to the profession. I'm basically spoon-feeding information.. which really dissapoints me. Another down.. my classroom atmosphere is too relaxed.. I'm not putting my foot down enough.. even a kid commented today.. "you're losing control.. they're not listening..".. I think she's right. I'm not sure how I can fix this one.. I'm an easy going person to begin with.. so getting a firm hand will be a challenge. I had this same problem in internship.. so we'll see how I will get a hand on it.

Tomorrow is the first staff meeting of the year. I've got most of my stuff settled into my classroom. I'm getting butterflies more and more as it gets nearer to the first day of school. Our division is late on starting school as compared to other divisions, which is an advantage for me to get some more prepping done.

I'm going to try to implement procedure and structure this time around. I hope it works in my favour. I feel Harry Wong is training monkeys rather than focusing on the learning. I guess there are ups and downs about having procedures.

I'm getting excited as I look through my class lists. Will they like me? Will they judge me? Of course they will. As long as I leave a good first impression, I think that's all I should worry about.

Let's hope for the positive that I have a great first day!

I am constantly thinking about what the user/person could be thinking or what they are going to do next. Then I think about the pros and cons of a situation. Following that I analyze the possible options/outcomes of my decisions in regards to that person/situation.

You might say I over analyze things, but you know what? My "users" appreciate that about me because I am always thinking and watching out for them.

Be aware of your audience.

Music listening to: Kina Grannis

How would a teacher deal with that? Just wait it out? Wait until they go to another grade? You can't confront a student, and say "Can you not be like that?"

It's a strange question to ask because it is assumed that ALL TEACHERS can discipline their students. But can they really?

The only reason these students are asking this question, is because they're bored in class. When they don't ask within the hour, that means you're doing something right in the classroom. That should light a lightbulb.

I just find it so entertaining the number of times that these students need to have an excuse to leave the classroom.

The system is flawed. We treat our classrooms as cages. If a student wants to get some fresh air.. then just go. It's a free world. It's a real world. In society, we don't ask to use the washroom. I think there needs to be a change in where and how our students learn. It needs to be more relaxed. Give students more responsibility. We can't continue being drill sergeants. The hallways can't always be empty at all times. Classrooms need to work together more. Noise is good.. it's not always bad.

Here's a test:

Ask them when they ask to leave the classroom, "Are you bored? Why?" Make a list of the reasons.

It's been a while since I last wrote. To be honest, I've been trying to avoid updating my current status in which I call life. I haven't gotten anywhere that I've needed to go in the last four months. I've just been a sitting duck. I have had some meltdowns and I'm still recovering about how to continue on within the next year.

It's been really hard for me to grapple with the fact that sometimes people have that time in their life where it isn't going where they want it to go. That nothing is changing. That nothing is moving. And I guess that's where I am. I had a feeling that I would struggle with getting a job after graduation. I think it happens to everyone. I mean it takes a couple of tries to climb that mountain, right? And what do we do? We keep trying, we keep climbing, and we don't give up.

I just see so many other people and their successes. Then I compare them to me and how I've got none of that. Sure I might sound like I'm whining. Probably am. But the reality is I'm just not sitting here, I am actually putting myself out there.. but no one wants to see or hear me. So really, is it me? or is it them? Am I doing something wrong? Or can I do more? I don't know.

It's hard to not have that support I need as well. She puts her on a pedestal and me in the dirt. I just wish that she can tell me 'I'll get there'. Or you know what will happen?.. I'll fall down.

I just hate seeing my life sitting still and everyone else's moving on. So to be brief, I have no job, not even subbing because they won't call me. I'm still living here working at my part time job. I'm going back to school to get my TESL certification because one day I would like to go to Hong Kong to teach English and to give myself more job opportunities. I mean at least I'm doing something right? I don't know, I try to tell myself that to make me feel better. This feeling sucks.








Music: Brendan James

So I am still on the job hunt. I had an interview yesterday, it didn't work in my favour. Oh well. I was most likely considered because the principal came from the same small town I came from. And the fact that my co-op used to teach there. Exactly, how do these divisions decide who to interview? Who do they shortlist? I mean, is there some kind of bias or something? "Oh I recognize some of these names, let's give em an interview.. these other ones we'll throw away"

The College promotes heavily on the need and demand for Math/Science teachers. So I went with the flow, I chose Math and Comp Sci. Any jobs available when I graduate? Nope.. Their recruitment strategies are a little misleading, if I don't say so myself.

Music: Radio Disney

Till this day, I still question religious views. Ever since that day, I have believed that everyone needs some kind of spirit to guide them through life. I could be wrong but who knows what's right? So I believe in having faith that there is a God, that there is something out there beyond this life.

My friend wanted to be a teacher after she graduated high school. I still wonder where she would be today if she had been able to live her life. It was too soon. Too soon to be taken away from her friends and her family. Especially her parents, the only two children they had, their life changed in a flash.

J and A, you're still in our hearts. We know you're still watching over us.

So I haven't written in a while. School ended like a month ago. It was kind of sad. I got sentimental, of course. Thinking about the last times I walked through the Education Building, through those hallways and classrooms where I met so many awesome future teachers. I may never see these people again. They might not even remember who I am in 5 years. But that's reality I guess. Finishing school, getting a job, going out into the real world. It's all apart of life. It saddens me as it does for anyone who leaves behind really great friends and people.

I finished exams like 2 weeks ago, and received my marks back for the classes. I did well. I sent in two resumes for two jobs, so hopefully there is some chance of a job by the end of August.

So what have I been doing? Nothing really. I'm still reading all the blogs I follow. Which reminds me that I should collect all the goodies that I find on blogs in one place. I also need to clean up my room, because it just needs a cleanup. I had to send in my laptop for repairs.. cause I may have crashed the hard drive.. lol.. So I've been using this crappy desktop one. I have to wait like 2 weeks! I got my passport last week, so now I can actually leave the country.. but not planning to travel anytime soon though.

I've been thinking if (that's a giant if) I do get one of the jobs I did apply for, I'll have a ton of unit planning to do. It's like 4 Math classes, 3 computer classes, and 1 accounting class. Isn't this position so perfect for me with all the experience I had in internship? It is so ideal. I really hope I am the most qualified. I'm kind of freaking out that I might not have a job at the end of the summer. I hear from my peers that they're getting subbing jobs.. and some contracts. I don't even have a prospect. Am I really going to be working as a cashier for the rest of the year? I really hope not. Maybe I'll try Alberta, if I'm that desperate. Btw, I really want my teaching certificate. I paid for the transcript, and I'm done all my classes. It should be coming right?

Well, I should start cleaning this pigsty of a room. Until later, cheers.

Music listening to: American Idiot OBCR

I stumbled upon a love letter. This is for the math lovers.

My Dear Love,

Pythagoras

Love and Math.. the best combination..

I guess in the scheme of things, there are pros and cons to it. But for me, I love to blog. It's the only place where I can express my thoughts and on the random occasion, someone actually listens.. I don't think Kyle should have been penalized to expressing his opinion through his blog. I think the only way to make a statement is to let other people know. Sure I see the other side of it, where Kyle could have approached the educative administration in private to discuss his issues, but I believe the other way is justified.

Blogs are meant for sharing and expressing ideas. They're like newspapers nowadays.. If you don't like to read it then don't attack it for having a view.