The Bolt

The town was Duck Lake, with a population of about 500 people. If you've ever been to a small town wedding, you know that they are wildly popular affairs, with what seems like the whole town being invited. We were in the Duck Lake hall (probably the only place one could hold a wedding there) and it was packed. This was a true small town wedding: it had an open bar, which usually leads to a wild party in itself.

I had another DJ, Carlos, along with me for training. He sat in the background most of the time because this was his very first dance, but we did talk about things like music selection and crowd participation. This was back in the era of cassette tapes, so there was still a lot of work to do in cueing the music and switching tapes. Eventually as the dance went by I even had Carlos fade music from one deck to another and switch tapes.

The dance was like many other wedding dances, with the notable exception of crowd excitement... these people were truly having fun, and it really wasn't a lot of work to get them up and dancing. The dance floor was packed all night long. What a great time, and by the end of the night they simply weren't ready to end it. So, they didn't. An uncle of the bride came up to me at 1:00 am, handed me $100 cash, and said "keep playing!!" So I did!

Those days, $100 bought another hour of music. The music kept going, the bar stayed open, and everyone continued to dance their faces off until 2:00 am. Once again I announced that the music was about to end, and once again someone came up to the stage with money. This time the father of the groom handed me another $100. The crowd was still going strong - I didn't think anyone had actually left at that point. Incredible.

At 3:00 am I thought for sure they should be ready to wind things down. Once again I announced the potential end of the music. Now normally when people are having fun and they hear a DJ tell them the music is about to end, especially after two hours of overtime already having been played, there is a collective groan from disappointed party people all across the hall. That didn't happen. Instead, as if on cue, people reached into their wallets and purses, and started looking around like they wanted somewhere to deposit their money. I was confused, until I saw someone walking around the dance floor holding a cowboy boot. The boot was filled with cash, and then promptly brought up and presented to me. There was another $130 in the boot! I told them that they just bought another hour of music (my rate was going up), and the party continued on. Including the bar - again, much to my amazement. But this was a small town, and I figured the mayor and/or police from the town were likely just as drunk as the rest of them and had no intention of shutting things down. Plus the bride and groom were still out dancing, which does help keep everyone else in the partying mood, since they're the feature couple of the night.

Carlos was starting to complain that he had to get up early the next day. I laughed and said, "well I guess you're getting a feel for what this work can be like. You still want to be a DJ?"

The music was going strong, the bar was open, and they set out another banquet table of food because people were starting to get hungry again. I grabbed a plate of food and kept on playing. I was having just as much fun as the people on the dance floor, plus I was getting paid very well. What a great night!!

At 4:00 am when I announced yet again the potential end to the music, I was fully prepared to have more money thrust at me, but it looked like the party goers might finally be ready to call it a night. A great many people came up to shake my hand and tell me just what an excellent time they had that night. The parents of the bride and groom, aunts and uncles, even grandparents were coming up commending me on the variety of music that kept everyone dancing.

I cued up what was to finally be the last song of the night. The REAL last song of the night. As the first few guitar chords of Rod Stewart's "You're In My Heart" started to play, I noticed one very drunk bride wandering over. I assumed that she just wanted to thank me for a job well done. No, she had other designs. "What would my wedding dance be without a dance from my very favorite DJ?" I wasn't sure how to answer that one. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out onto the dance floor, which at this point was still VERY packed. I wondered if alcohol alone was truly enough to keep this many people awake and dancing at 4:00 am, or if they had somehow spiked the food with stimulants. As I was gazing in awe at the crowd around me, the bride moved in very close for a slow dance.

I felt a little awkward, but decided to loosen up a bit - this was her wedding, she was having fun, may as not spoil it by acting all weird. As the song went on into the main chorus and it seemed like everyone was singing along, she pulled me even closer and started to say something. I couldn't hear her since everyone was belting out the song in true drunken group karaoke style, so I also leaned in to listen. At that point as we were practically pressed up against each other, I felt something down the front of my pants. I quickly realised this was her hand, feeling me up. Oh shit. I had no desire to get severely beaten by the groom or any number of his groomsmen, so I tried to distance myself but that didn't work too well. If I didn't get out of there rather quickly, there was about to be some very firm evidence presenting itself from the front of my pants.

I looked around and noticed that the father of the bride wasn't too far away, and thankfully he wasn't dancing with anyone. I yelled to get his attention at the same time as I wrestled myself away from the bride, and motioned for him to come over and dance. He took the cue, started dancing with his daughter, and I thanked the bride for the dance and quickly slipped away.

I'm sure that to this day the bride from that particular wedding dance has no memory of this incident ever happening, and truthfully that's best for everyone. But every time I hear the first few chords of "You're In My Heart", my mind goes back to that small town wedding dance and me being felt up by the bride.